Differences… why we are who we are????

This week, leaving my brother Jim and the best birthday
I’ve had in years, I headed north out of NV into ID. (Photo by Marla Laughlin) 

First thing I needed to do was find some wilderness and just decompress and I  met this guy!  I had a wonderful hike (see Nevada Hike page) and spent the night before heading on to Idaho.  Also see the Drive North.

Maryann having breakfast in her van.  I don’t know how she bends her body in thirds like that.

I had met Maryann (M.A.) in Quartzsite in Jan. 2013 and we have become friends through Facebook since.  She wanted me to visit and I wanted to get to know her better since we seemed to share so many common interests.

Her van was in the shop when I arrived in town so I went to the Ford dealer to meet her and then on to get tea/coffee?  I called her to let her know I was at Ford but she was already walking up the street to the Coffee shop… so I picked her up.  We had a great chat, then went back to get her van.  They said the alternator was bad and ordered a new one, but the van would be o.k. to use for the weekend (ha ha).  We van camped in front of her friend’s home (which has the most beautiful urban garden I have ever seen).

		Helen’s Garden VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Next day we drove north to the next town where her daughter lives… and I got treated to a hydro-massage (now there’s something you should not pass up if you get a chance to experience). I really enjoyed meeting her daughter, who is in between my two sons in age… by one year.  Beautiful young lady.

Then we went back out to M.A.’s van and it would not start.  Great.  (I suddenly remembered why I hate leaving my van behind anywhere.)  A tow truck came, took us back to Hailey, ID, dropped me at my van (oh, thank heavens) and I followed them back to Ford.  M.A. and I then returned to her friend’s home for supper, and her ex joined us.  It was a nice evening, but I felt bushed even though I had not really exerted any energy that day. 

The van was fixed right away and we picked it up and headed out to an urban campground named Hayspur, which is adjacent to the Silver Creek Preserve.

Very nice spot, surrounded by agricultural fields and a Nature Conservancy property (an area that was a favorite of Ernest Hemingway – Silver Creek Preserve).  Our plan was to kayak through the Conservancy the next day.  M.A. had never kayaked before and like me, has a cranky shoulder.  I assured her, if she tired of paddling, I could tow her. We set up camp at Hayspur Fish Hatchery (a free place to camp).  it is also listed on FreeCampsites.net.

Five more of her friends joined us for a great evening of chatting, laughing, taking silly photos, and drinking a few beer.  Lovely evening.

M.A.’s friend lost her husband this week and early the next morning she was called to be by her side and she departed camp before I was up.  I really came to visit M.A., not kayak, and without her there, I felt the need to move on but I went out and drove the kayaking route, checking out put-in and take-out points.  There is a visitor center you are suppose to check in before kayaking.  It was not open… I was told, ‘cause I couldn’t even find it.  I didn’t have a map.  I didn’t have a shuttle. 

The Un-Paddle

I think I would have enjoyed this location for a nice easy paddle.  I headed out early to explore the route… and found frozen spray in the agricultural fields.  Neat.

This would have been a fun paddle for me as it’s kind of a walk in Hemingway’s footsteps.  Page 2.

A bench at Hemingway’s Monument.

Met a beaver.

Normally, I kayak a circuit and don’t need a shuttle, but the current was too fast for me to paddle upstream, so, I determined I really needed to just get back out into the wilderness, especially since this was Memorial Day weekend Friday and many other campers and kids and dogs were arriving.  By nightfall, the place would be thick with smoke, and screaming kids, and being in the middle of a bad migraine, I knew I must leave.

Ice Cave

On the way back south to Jackpot, I stopped to see the Shoshone Indian Ice Caves.  Here are slides for now.

		Shoshone Indian Ice Caves, ID VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Why? Why did I need wilderness??   Some people need other people and like having lots of other people around and are more comfortable urban van camping.  I like/need lots of wilderness around and only truly enjoy real wilderness camping.  After stopping to pick up my printer, which I had left in Twin Falls to be check out as to why it stopped printing (it can still scan),  I then headed back down to Jackpot, NV and then out into the wilderness the next morning.

That night there was a full moon and I spent time talking to my sister in Alaska, beginning to plan my trip there.

Into the Wilderness, again.

Seen on the way to my 5/25 campsite:

		Into The Wilderness VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

I’ve been out here now for over 12 hours and have not seen one single person or vehicle.  Two antelope, a couple of swallows, I heard a crow, and there is a large mammal hole near the van, that I think is a badger’s (but I have not seen him yet).

Opal Spring and rock outcroppings that contain the Opal,
and a local resident.

One of the things I was searching for out here was an opal digging spot.  I had a local hand-drawn map I found at a gas station, but I had no topo map of the area… so I can’t believe I actually found Opal Spring (there are no signs).  I collected a lot of rock… and waste flakes from Indian projectile point production.  I wanted to continue on this road to a place called “Snake Skin Agate” diggings, but… the road didn’t look 2-wheel drive friendly.  At the Spring, you drive across the little stream (I did)… and you have a short dry stretch of road, and then a bog.  Looks like people drive through it at times of the year… and you can see the road continues on the other side… but I walked a bit of it and decided only 4x4 should try it.  There’s another road around to the Snake Skin Agate spot and I will try it later. Right now, I’m content to sit right where I am until I get antsy. 

Last night I returned on the road I came in on, about 1 mile to a nice level spot.  As I was trying to go to sleep… with a migraine and sinus headache, I noticed ringing in my right ear.  Pretty sure it’s not a new thing, just that I’ve just been in places with so much noise, I couldn’t hear it.  But last night, in the dead silence of this spot… it seemed very loud.  I guess I had heard it before, but thought it was my inverter, my solar controller, or my 12 volt refrigerator…. and never considered it was my ear!  My son has really bad tinnitis in his ears and it was so bad he had to take a leave of absence from work to deal with it emotionally and physically. 

But this morning, I woke and it was gone.  I laid in bed a long time wondering why it was so bad last night and so quiet this morning… and I conclude it was stress.  Stress?  From what?  I’m retired, doing what I want to do and in my own time.  Then it must be just being in cities, in towns, around people, cars, trucks, diesel fumes, car fumes, sounds of people, vehicle doors opening and closing, traffic, etc. I am not sure all of us were meant to live that way.  But here in the wilderness, I am noticing lots of differences.  Not just in my right ear.

First difference I noticed yesterday was SOUND, or lack thereof (an occasional airplane is all).  It was unnerving to begin with… but I’m quickly adjusting.  Second difference I noticed (maybe too much information here) was my bladder calming down and my kidneys working better.  Who would have thought?  Third difference I noticed as I prepared breakfast was the speed of preparation (or rather the slowness of it)… and how I was taking time to decide what to eat and how to fix it… and I was eating slowly and chewing more and enjoying the whole process, something that is very different from my normal style (quickest, easiest, fastest). 

I really became aware today for the first time, of how truly different I feel both mentally and physically by being in the wilderness and away from civilization (people, dogs, cars, campers, fumes, etc. and so forth).  Sure, most people can get the Mental part of that, but the impact and difference on me Physically is astounding.  O.K. I mentioned the bladder… and I don’t know why it’s better.  I’ve been on Detrol LA for years but went off of it a couple months ago… and have been doing pretty well, until I spent too much time in cities and drinking too many sodas.  And I guess there really is a “stress incontinence”  but I didn’t think it was caused by mental stress, just the physiological stress.

I used to be on all kinds of medicines, for bladder, stomach, headaches, allergies, nerves, inflammation, blood pressure, what’s left?  But now, the last medicine I’m trying to get off of is Prilosec.  I keep trying, and keep getting a really angry gut – the kind that makes you feel that you will surely die.  I realize I  need to completely change my eating habits (no fast foods, etc.) but that seems nearly impossible when I drive past those places all the time.  The difference out here in the wilderness is that there are no Golden Arches.

And headaches… I have suffered with bad headaches for the past couple of weeks.  That is different as mostly the past few years I seldom get a migraine – which I have suffered from since childhood.  But the past few days it has been pretty bad.  I decided last night I’d take whatever meds I needed to take to be out of pain and get some sleep.   I slept almost 12 hours and only had to get up to pee once (difference is usually up 4-5 times a night).  This morning, no headache.

So, it’s not just the COPD that I have to learn to manage, but I have to learn to listen to my whole body and how the stress of “civilized” living negatively impacts me.  We all need to listen to our bodies more.  Someone told me they are afraid of the openness of the wilderness and it would probably negatively effect them to do what I am doing now.  I accept those differences in other people.  Right now I have a 360 degree view of wilderness.  Only sign of civilization is a fence and cattle guard.  To me, this is wonderful, almost divine… but to others it is terrifying.  Why?  I think it is only their lack of experience in such settings.  I don’t feel I have anything to fear here (the badger has not even come out to say hello to me yet.)

I do admit, yesterday I considered camping on top of a ridge, a knoll, but it got very windy and wind is the one thing that really causes me anxiety (one only has to think about the recent storms in the Midwest to understand that)… and being the highest point around… there would be lightening to consider as well.  So, I got down off the hill and back into the valley.  The view is really just as amazing down here.  Jackpot has an elevation of 5,217 feet, and the mountains surrounding me range from 7,295-8,299 feet.  Elevation doesn’t seem to bother my COPD like it does some others (although I wondered while I was up on that ridge if it was making the headache worse). Could be a difference of 2,000 ft. from where I ended up for the night.  Just recently heard on radio if you take Ibuprofen before ascending to these high elevations, it can help prevent altitude sickness.

There’s another difference, I can breath better out here today, and the incessant dripping nose has stopped dripping.  Oh, thank God.

I don’t know how one person can be so different from another.  I don’t know how long I will be here… a day, or two, or until I run out of water or food? I like living in the NOW and not planning my next move.  I don’t even have cell or internet service here, so this won’t be posted until I go “into civilization.”  It doesn’t matter… I’m just going to enjoy all the marvelous differences. If I had a legacy to leave everyone, it would be “Do not fear the DIFFERENT but embrace it and enjoy all the new things there are to learn about your world and yourself.”

Another adventure heading my way, clouds are forming and are dark.  It might rain.  If it does, I won’t be able to leave… this road is not 2-wheel drive friendly if it is wet.  OK… my “don’t pen me in” panic button is on alert… but this too, I will deal with.  I have all I need to survive for even a couple weeks or more.  I’m O.K. and people who get my SPOT notices will get one nightly, showing my exact location.

Update: I left Friday to go into the wilderness. Saw no vehicles going 25 miles into the wild. Next day or two, I saw none. Then I saw two 4x4s with a couple each in one. They told me where I was on my little map... so I was on track getting to where I wanted to be. Didn't see another human until I came out of the wilderness this afternoon and 9 miles before I reached the highway again, I saw a truck with a guy in it. Didn't see any houses that whole time until 4 miles from the highway. I'm talking about 50 miles of wilderness driving... on some really bad roads... with rain threatening tonight, I needed to get out while I could. (The Panic Button won out.) Would not have minded staying there a week or two, but only if it was my choice. With rain coming in, I might have been trapped... and I'm not good at that.  Back in Jackpot, NV tonight (5/27/13).

A Swankie Roof Rack and Vent Fan

Bob Wells at the Slabs helping me to install my Fan -Tastic Vent Fan.($131 and up).  (think Bob has a fascination for ladies on the roofs of vans – see his new blog post http://cheaprvlivingblog.com/2013/05/beat-the-heat-1-add-screens-2-paint-the-roof-of-your-van-3-buy-a-fan/)

I did all the work myself, but he was right there beside me the entire time. Others got frustrated by my learning curve... but I needed to do the work myself... so I can fix things it if I have too.  With COPD issues, proper ventilation was my number one priority. Photo by Heidi Thomas (I think?)  Had I enough money at the time, I would have gone with a little more expensive model, one with a remote control, as I sometimes forget to close the vent before I drive.  Normally, it just kinda jiggles itself shut, and another thing, if it is opened until it presses against the platform, the wind can’t blow it anywhere, and the platform itself protects it somewhat. But there are times I wished I had a remote control to close it while I was driving, when I forget otherwise.

A friend commented that I'm the only person she knows who puts a hole in the roof of her van just to make a picture frame. Photo by Heidi Thomas.  Note the ceiling is already insulated, and besides the cross supports, aluminum furring strips have been added which are thin and strong.  The paneling is screw into the furring strips.

After I got the roof vent fan installed, I had this Kargo Master Pro II Van roof rack professionally installed and have been very pleased. It is heavy and it cost a lot (May 2013 price is $655), but now I have options for the roof once I build a wooden platform to go on the rack, I can attach many things, solar, TV antenna, haul stuff like kayak or other things, etc.. — in Monterey, CA.  The rack on the above link shows the rear part of the rack bending downward… mine is straight… I wish it was bent like this… would make the kayak loading easier.

I had to change my kayak loading methods - began with a Honda Odyssey... and this Chevy is much much taller... but I have now perfected a new technique for this old 60-something lady loading the 12' plus kayak on top - alone without help. From the ground, I cannot even reach the kayak. Very doable, albeit tricky.

Went to TX to have friend/vandweller Ron McDowell help me with the design and construction of the roof rack platform. Purpose was five-fold: 1) shade the vehicle, 2) mount solar panel, 3) mount t.v. antenna, 4) carry kayak, 5) opening for vent fan cover. I built and painted the platform on the ground and then a couple construction workers came by and loaded it onto the rack.

I installed the solar panel in the dark using a small LED light.  If I can do that, anyone can install these things.  (it was too hot to work in the sunlight)

Next, I had to figure out how to attach it to the rack. Ron was great in providing me with shade and ideas. TX heat was terrible and most of the time I could only work 10 min, drink a bottle of water or pour one over me... a perpetual wet-shirt show. I'll never live in TX. — in San Antonio, TX.

RIP Ron McDowell, you are loved and missed.

The opening allows me to open the vent fan lid most of the way... one unexpected result of having the platform off a couple inches, was that the lid can press against the wood... and not flap in the wind. It is usually closed while I drive. I wanted the wood platform to have rigid support so I could walk or sleep on top. I painted it several coats to prevent weathering. I used 3/4” CDX plywood. (you can see Ron’s power chair on the right)

Another view of Ron's place, Ron under the awning, and the platform in progress. A good shot of the Kargo Master roof rack too.

The Fantastic Vent Fan was placed off-center to be near the head of my bed.  I have liked this much more than it being centered in the van..

Checking to see the fit of the first section of wood.  Also, lined up the seams of the plywood to rest on the cross bars of the rack, for more support. Marked the front corners to cut them curved to match the curve of the rack.

Left: Before the Platform was built.   Right: With new platform.

The platform installed, vent open, kayak on top. About 5" of space allows plenty of room for air circulation. The roof is almost always in the shade now and you can’t imagine how much difference that makes to the inside temperature.. Keeps the van a lot cooler. It's 2:45 pm right now... I'm sitting in full sun and the inside temp of van is only 75 degrees.

The wire comes from the solar panel down through the wooden platform and into the roof to the solar controller. Have not had any leak in four years since I installed it. I first drilled a hole through the roof from the inside, so I could see where the hole should be cut from the roof.  Then I used a hole-cutter bit on my regular drill, and drilled from the outside through the skin.  I filed off the burrs and placed a rubber grommet around the metal edges.  Then I used some of the vent fan caulking (Dicor Butly Tape) to seal up the wire/grommet/hole.  You can see screws sticking through... don't have a tool to cut them off. Solar panel is held on with 8 screws. This probably should be changed to nuts and bolts, but it has not loosened at all in these four years.

The side 2x4 was laid down flat to allow more clearance for me to tie down the kayak. The bracket holding the platform to the rack is a pipe bracket (don't know the name) and it worked perfect, except I had to bend the ends. Holding tight after four years but the rubber padding has degraded and I have replaced some of it with pieces of yoga mat material.

This is the front edge of the rack (I had intended for the platform to line up with the rack, but that didn't happen). Doesn't really matter. Painted the edges of the platform black to blend in more with the cargo rack. Sometimes it's not noticeable that there is a platform on the rack.

I initially ran the t.v. antenna in the rear door but later ran it down the same hole as the solar cable. When I get a flat screen t.v. I may change this again and make a new hole in the rear left corner of the roof to shorten the length of the cable.  I have also learned there is a  flat cable made to go in doors like this, so I may get one of those.  I may put in a splitter to see if it will also run a neighbor's t.v. as well and if we can watch different channels at the same time.

Close-up of the rear bracket.

So there it is... all loaded up. Only thing different is I carry the kayak in my trailer most of the time, to protect it from the sun, and I have built a ladder rack on the side of my trailer for the ladder, as it was always in my way.  (Thank you Steven Ballee’ for your ideas and assistance on that one.).

I can't think of much I would have done differently. Note the white 2” x 4” under the kayak - that is a guide that keeps the kayak lined up straight and prevents it from sliding toward the solar panel (135 watt). It was pure stroke of genius in the hot TX sun.  Oh, and I have to be parked so the kayak does not shade the solar panel, another thing I had not thought out, but seems to be no problem.

God, I'm glad I have lost weight since this was taken a few years ago (when I kayaked Arizona, my 4th state). Yuk. Anyway this is the tie down stage of loading the kayak. I keep this ladder in the side door of my van when I carry the kayak like this and am not towing the trailer.

Final thoughts:  There are always tradeoffs.  People think my set-up is too expensive, but I have constant shade on my roof, and I can climb up there and walk on it, sleep on it or sit and watch the stars.  I can haul heavy loads on it if needed.  I think it was worth every penny.

Water was gathering in the corners of the platform.  I drilled a one-inch hole in each corner and then applied a few layers of caulk and paint.  Now, if I am in rain, it drains right off and does not damage or warp the wood.

A Swankie Desk

I lived in Prescott, AZ the winter of 2004-2005.  This was my apartment.  I marvel, looking at this now, at all the stuff in this picture that I no longer have (chair, TV, monitor, PC, books, that printer, the file cabinet, and most of the papers… gone).  But the desk, not getting rid of it… it’s a work of art.  Made by an octogenarian (well he was probably younger than that when he made it), he gave it to me in 2004 and I love it.

The desk then lived in a storage unit for some time. Then I went to stay at a friend’s home in Monterey, CA…  to get some surgery and recover.  The desk  moved into my room in her home.  Barely room for a twin bed, a desk and chair and a few other small things. But the recovery time for the surgery, had me going from the bed to the desk, a few steps to the bathroom, and I got used to having everything within arms reach… good training for becoming a vandweller.  Note here, the carving work on the end of the desk.

Finally, in 2008, I got the van I had been dreaming about for years and was at a stage where I could transition from sticks and bricks to mobile living.  The process had begun… the desk now had to move into this space one way or another.

Others had suggested building a cardboard model of the things you need to place in the van, so you can work out how they will fit, so I did that.  Note the rounded thingy cutout.  I don’t know what it is, (probably the gasoline intake) but I know I had to cut a hole in the desk to get it to go against the wall.

Taking the cardboard back into the house, I laid it up against the back of the desk… and just sawed the wood off… holding my breath.

Here the desk is standing on one end… and I have determined that the top of the desk will need to be sawed off, and shortened in order for the desk to fit in the van.  Now, how to do that?  Looking back, I’m not sure how I did it, but it worked.

I then took the top outside where I had a nice picnic table to work on… and cut the legs off about two inches.  Oh, this was scary.  Was I destroying this lovely desk?  Would I ever get it all back together again, inside the van???

I was trying to walk this bottom part out the back door, down off the porch, and across the concrete patio and realizing I bit off more than I could chew, I flagged down a couple guys and asked them it they would carry and lift it into the van, and they were happy to help.  So there it is, in place.  Note the bottom shelf on the left, also had to have a notch cut out of it to get it to fit.  But, it’s in the van.

Notice the very artistic drawer pulls, made of gnarly old desert wood, which are fastened on with copper wire.  Love it.

Here you can see why the top of the desk had to be cut off to fit under that carpeted piece at the top, and come forward to fit the curve of the van wall.  I can’t tell you how hard this was to do, but after adding a few angle brackets to reattach it to the bottom of the desk, all is securely in place and NOTHING has moved in four years. (not saying it would all stay in place if I wrecked and rolled over like another vandweller did, but I have no plans to do so)

The desk top was then secured to the walls of the van with angle bracket and washers.  That is a little frightening too, and you have to know where the ribs or studs are in the wall… wasn’t hard to find as you can see where the screws are for the paneling (covered with tan plastic caps) about 10” directly above the washers.  Also larger L-brackets attached the desk itself to the floor of the van.

Finally, with everything secure, I could begin tweaking it all and finding a place for everything, and putting everything in it’s place.  The scalloped board was found in the trash, and fit nicely there (thinking I could mount a led light behind it something).  I built a box for the solar controller in the corner so I could monitor it while working at my desk.  Oh notice too, this was an old computer desk, and it had a keyboard tray with a power strip.  The power strip has since died and been removed, but the tray is still in place and most handy.  It’s my dinner table, work space, etc.  My laptop usually sits on the desk itself, but as I type this, it is sitting on the keyboard tray.

Still tweaking.  Loose stuff on top of the shelf would not stay in place.  I added a strip of yoga mat material to the top shelf and to all the shelf and desk surfaces.  This is really a great thing, as nothing slides around.  It was glued in place with the sticky glue stick and easily peals off, and some pieces just stapled on with a paper stapler.  Nothing fancy and it works like a charm. 

To the top shelf of the desk, I added quarter-round molding to keep things from sliding off to the front or side.  This is the space that now houses my negative and slide flatbed scanner.

The spacing didn’t suit me, so I raised the shelf, so the slide scanner just fit there, I take it out when I am scanning, and that left just enough space under the shelf for my All-In-One Printer/Scanner.  (Yes, I’m in the scanning stage of my life and didn’t want to waste another year remaining in sticks and bricks and paying rent to scan all the things I need to scan (40 years of genealogy research and hundreds of historic family photos and documents).  I’ve said for years, once I could afford the technology to hit the road and have a mobile computer lab, I would hit the road (this is the prime reason this desk was so important to me… it would house it all).

Boy does it fit well in the van… and I love it.  Notice on the left end of the desk, a space between the desk and the bed… that’s where my sanitation area is now located.

Evolution is a fickle thing.  The PC did not hold up well to all the vibrations of the road, and the hard drive finally died.  So, bye bye PC, speakers, and keyboard.  The large LCD monitor was almost new, so it is well padded and remains in that space, fits right in that curve of the van wall and takes up no extra space.  It was great to have it on hand this past winter when my laptop screen finally died… and I just plugged it in to the monitor and could still work, save files, and function until my sister and her marvelous hubby gifted me with a new laptop.  Warning… electronics are not made to jiggle and bounce around on the back roads of the wilderness.  They will fail.  Ron McDowell (RIP Ron) told me to replace the hard drive in the PC with a laptop hard drive (which would fit in one of the open slots like where the DVD and CD drives are).  He said that Laptop hard drives are made more sturdy and will take more abuse.

I loved the set-up but things just keep evolving.

I added some scrapes of wood to the front of the top shelf, to hold things in place and finally came up with those freezer container which fit perfectly and hold things like sewing supplies.  My address book and misc. other things are always handy. The little top shelf could not be more handy if I had planned it that way… just a happy accident.

I had decided I wanted to have a slide out board in the desk for my stove, but it actually took me about three years to work the design out in my head.  I found these grooved pieces of wood, and knew they would work. As you can see about four photos back, it was just one open shelf so I needed to find a way to put a divider in to attach the right runner to, which was the hardest part.  I bought a finished laminated white shelf board from Home Depot, added a door handle to it, cut the extra length off the back end of the board, and just slid it into place.  Again, a piece of Yoga mat material, keeps the stove from sliding around and a bungee cord goes across the space when the shelf is pushed in, but the shelf is tight and doesn’t jiggle out.  By the way, the vent fan is right above the stove, I couldn’t have planned it that way, it was just another happy accident.

My feet were always cold so I insulated the space under the desk.  Speaking of space, it was really all wasted space, since I had the keyboard tray, I never scooted all the way under the desk. The keyboard tray pulls right out into the isle. This too took me about three years to realize, but why not build shelves under there for food and canned goods.  So this past winter, I took on that little project (thank you for dying PC).

You can’t even begin to know how much food fits on those shelves.  It is amazing.

In conclusion,  you don’t need to have things all planned out perfectly before you hit the road.  Just get the basics done and hit the road.  For me the basics were 1) to be able to afford the technology to have a mobile computer lab, 2) to ensure fresh air by installing the Fantastic Vent fan, 3) to have a comfortable bed and 4) to get the solar and last but not least… to have a desk to work at.  The desk is now my computer lab and my kitchen all wrapped in the same space.  I have almost as much space as I had when staying with my friend in Monterey, but there are wheels under my floor.  It just doesn’t get any better than that, until tomorrow.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, again.