Changing UP! (Thanks AstroBri)

I caught my first fish this week, but it was too little to keep.

In reading vandweller friend Brian’s recent blog post I realized a couple things about my summer experiences.  Brian said: “I am feeling a bit of a disconnect from my present and I am finding these things too much distraction.”  He was referring to his vandwelling forum involvement and his Facebook page.

Irish Soda Bread I baked in my Solar Oven.
And my work golf cart.

Being in a work situation all summer with no internet has clarified some of the same things for me as well.  I actually dropped out of the forums I was on last year some time.  Many of the people responding to my remarks were swell people, but a few bad apples spoiled it for me.  I never intentionally do or say anything to hurt others, but some members attacked me as if I were an enemy… and who needs that – especially when all you are trying to do is help others?!

My last campers gave me a trout.  Others gave me cucumbers and tomatoes.  All I contributed to this meal was the tortilla.  View of Lake in background.

Even blogging has issues... as some readers/followers get the idea/feeling that because you are publically telling your story, they (the readers/followers) are entitled to claim a piece of you or just pop up in your life uninvited.  RVSue has had that happen to a greater extent than I have, but still I was careful this summer NOT to give out my work location.  Same for the forums I belonged to and when you blog you kinda give out the message that "Here I am... take a piece of me!!!"  And ONE huge lesson I have learned this summer is that there are some people out there who feel "entitled" to do just that... or whatever they darned well please regardless of rules others must follow.  Did some people never learn common courtesy???

Well, some animals don’t know the meaning of manners… this calf busy tearing off the signs I so carefully posted.

I thought I would miss the internet and cell service, but I really have not.  Getting online once a month for a few hours is really good enough for me.  I probably won't give up FB but I find it aggravating in that when I do go back to check up on family members, etc., many of the posts (unlike my blog) are deleted before I get a chance to see them.  So, FB serves little purpose for me other than the fact that I have given family members a way to check on each other by setting up the FB page and friending them all.

Brian also said: 

I know this is esoteric and oblique, but I am not comfortable enough with what I am experiencing to name it yet. That may come later but meanwhile, I am urged outside, to look up and see what manifests as I pass along in my daily moment....

What’s that book???   Living in the Now???  I’ve been learning that this year as well… especially this summer.  As a campground host, your NOW is controlled by your guests.  Your job is to meet their needs first (and get their money), before you take any time for your own needs.  It’s actually a duty I will be happy to be freed from.  I’m at an age where I need to put myself first (something that I have rarely done in my almost 7 decades on earth).  We grew up being taught it was selfish to put ourselves before others, but I am glad I did not teach that to my boys.  I think to be successful in life/living, you need to put your needs first... and I’m glad my boys can do that (although it leaves me out here pretty much on my own).  Still this could be the ONE major factor why they are so self-sufficient and successful in life and that’s a good thing.

OK, Bri, you got me philosophizing here today, now I need to go wash my car, my bod, my hair… pick up my metal detector from storage and head back up the mountain to play awhile (I have run out of campers but am suppose to stay there until Oct. 21).  May paint some picnic tables if there send up supplies/paint, etc.  I hope I’ll be leaving Colorado sooner than that as I am eager to resume my kayaking, with only 8 of the lower 48 states left to kayak.

It is a beautiful area… these Rocky Mountains!  Awesome.

Adding later:

My Campers
Sheep Herds and Shepherds
Dogs
Cattle and Cowboys

Ghost Dancer arrived at the RTR today.

This morning I worked at the Rock Club as Foreman of the Lapidary Shop.  Had free breakfast and lunch at La Mesa RV, then returned to the Rock Club to play this afternoon.  Then headed up the hill to Dome Mountain where the Vandwellers are gathering.  And lo and behold, who shows up, but our very own "vandweller's founding father,” Ghost Dancer.  What a guy!  Folks were surprised and pleased.

Suanne made a wonderful stew for all of us.  The campfire was lovely until some decided to burn up a lot more wood than required.  That always ticks me off... as I think of how many meals I could make on the fuel burned up in one night.  So, I just leave so I don't have to sit around and be angry over the issue.

My friend Liz has folks helping her... by making her a bed for her van.  AstroBri is here.  VJ from VanIncidentals is here.  Lots of new people I haven't met before.  I don't know how many people are here, but I bet there are 30 or more vehicles.

The night is clear and not too cold.  I'll be able to leave my rear door open and watch the stars tonight.  I am hoping to spend more time with those who have come to the RTR, but my volunteer work for the Rock Club and helping to set up and tear down for the annual Pow Wow will have to come first.

One thing for sure that is making me feel great is all the folks that have rallied around me because of the slander a disgruntled vandweller (?) has been putting on the WWW, in spite of the fact I gave him a blanket when he was cold, camped with him the first two weeks he was here so he would not be alone, showed him all around town.  Shared my food with him and even let him sit in my van to eat when it was cold outside... in spite of the cigarette smoke saturating his clothing, and even polished his silver watch band which he almost seemed irritated at me that he had to walk to my van so I could hand it to him.  He didn't even look at it.  And because I told him I wasn't a one-woman welcoming committee for every vandweller who comes to town... he turned on me and began slandering me on the web.  BlogSpot won't do anything about it unless there is a lawsuit, he won't do anything about it though I asked politely four times, so I just have to live with it.   The folks who know me, know he is lying, and even those just meeting me have reassured me that the guy must have a mental problem.  So... trying to ignore it and move on. 

There is lots of fun to be had here and I'm going to just have me a bunch of it.  It doesn't get any better than this until tomorrow.

40th State: New Mexico - Lake Caballo near Truth or Consequences (Oct. 15, 2011)

Be gentle with yourself, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.   Max Ehrmann

Today I kayaked New Mexico. 

Truth or Consequences, N.M. used to be named Hot Springs, NM until Ralph Edwards made them some offer to change their town name to Truth or Consequences, after the title of a popular NBC radio program. In 1950, Ralph Edwards, the host of the radio quiz show Truth or Consequences, announced that he would air the program from the first town that renamed itself after the show. Hot Springs won the honor.

Sue Soaring Sun (and John) with Guppy and me
and John Rogers and his old VW Camper.

I met two vandwellers in town earlier for coffee… Sue Soaring Sun and John Rogers, neighbors of AstroBri. Then I pampered poor ol’ SwankieWheels who needs an oil change and a drink of water.  After that I drove out to Caballo Lake State Park on the Rio Grande River and immediately pulled the kayak out to set sail.  Very nice place.
The size of the lake varies by season, but when the lake is full, it is over 11,500 acres (47 km²) in area, and 18 miles (29 km) long, making it New Mexico's third largest lake.  The water level was very low and I did kayak almost end to end, even getting stuck on the mud flats at the north end… for a total of about seven miles or so. Photos are unremarkable… so I’m just putting a slide show at the end.  Except these:

I finally realized what these wooden things were.. they were roots of trees with their large tap root doing down… uncovered by the low water level.  It made for a surreal landscape.  And the bird life there… so many species… I’m not a birder, but this would be a paradise for them.

Tonight I sat outside my van overlooking the lake, having my dinner salad while watching the setting sun and then sat there and watched the stars coming out.  I did not take photos.  They would pale in comparison to reality.  I don’t even have words to describe what I was feeling tonight… “freedom” even fails to express it.  Just peace and warmth and something…... ? 

There are no mosquitos trying to make my life miserable.  It’s not too hot nor too cold… I have the doors of the van open and the air is fresh and comfortable.  There is no noise (other then that constant roar off in the distance of traffic on the highway) and there is no traffic around me… the lake on one side, a ravine on the other side and bushes and the van give me total privacy… and they are no voices… no one walking by my van.  I believe this is the first peace I have felt since camping with Bob Wells and Steve Ballee’ at Q-Camp #3. 

Not a cloud in the sky and the stars are getting brighter by the moment.
If I have not died and gone to heaven… then this is a close second.  I am going back out to enjoy the stars awhile longer and then hope to get a great night’s sleep although I could get rousted since I am in the boat ramp parking lot… and have not paid to camp in the park tonight.  But, it’s off season… and I think I will be left alone.  My LCD screen is attracting some bugs, but not skeeters… so I’ll shut down for tonight.

Next morning: I thought life was good when I wrote that but then…
I stepped outside to see that I parked in line with the Milky Way.. which was not visible earlier.  I walked around a bit, then got a foam mat and laid down next to the trailer with my binoculars.  I watched the stars, the satellites, the planes… and listened.  You can hear the sky at night.  I thought the sounds I was hearing were just road traffic, but some is coming from the sky and the sky was really loud.  I laid on the ground looking up at the Universe as if I have never seen it before.  Everything was upside down, the trailer, the bike, the van… yet somehow it seemed all RIGHT that way… as it should be… and that it might really be civilization that is all upside down.

I laid my head down on the binoculars and went to sleep, no blanket, no pillow, just the ground and me… and one of the rare moments when I wished I was sky clad… that it would take that to feel one with it all.  Finally, I got cold and retreated to the warmth of the van, but left the rear door open all night with my head right there looking out at the stars.  I fell asleep again, only to be awakened by the yipping coyote going past the van.  Perfect… just perfect.  Then I laid there for a long time listening to the chorus of birds… what a wondrous thing to hear… I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before either.

Somehow my aching bones were eased into a peaceful slumber.  It truly can’t get any better than this (until tomorrow?).

Feelings of freedom and peace, yes, but it’s more than that… and I didn’t really fully get it until I read the quote at the beginning of this post, the next morning…to find a way in “the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.”  That’s what I was feeling… that’s what I didn’t have words to express.

There is no way for me to adequately describe the experience, but here are the photos of the paddle.  I wish everyone to experience a day and night like I had yesterday and last night, at least ONE time during their life.

It deserves repeating:

Be gentle with yourself, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.   Max Ehrmann

That’s what I’ve been searching for in life, without knowing what to call it… a way to “keep peace with my soul” and I can’t do it in the noisy confusion of civilization.

And now… on to the Hot Springs… and another strange story.

Next State: Kansas

Travelers’ Necklace

When I decided to van-dwell and travel fulltime, I devised the a necklace in order to keep track of how many other like-minded vandwellers I met on the road. I bought a bag of plastic craft beads and had a leather shoe lace. Each time I met another vandweller, I added a bead to my necklace. Soon others got to liking the idea and began trading beads with me. Some are even making there own beads to give out to other vandwellers they meet. The idea is spreading... and my necklace is growing. I have a list of who each bead represents. As time goes on some of the earlier beads are being replaced with glass or stone beads by the people they represent.  The arrowhead in the center was found on a California beach and Vandweller Grandmahuggababy did the beautiful wire-wrap for me.  The red bead is hers which she also wire-wrapped. Next to it is a little gold Buddha from Vandweller AstroBri.  The purple bead is from Brian deYounger, and Grandmahuggababy also wire-wrapped that one. The necklace seems to take on a life of it’s own… and of course each Vandweller’s Necklace will have it’s own distinct look… and will be as varied as we are ourselves.  We are a family, a tribe on wheels… seeing America… loving life.

"We were an island of misfits, a family, a tribe. much like i imagine more primitive and wise cultures lived. anyhow, i feel that way about vandwellers. we are drawn to a way of life on the fringes of the common culture. some of us seek solitude, some community. we have times of incredible peace, and sharp loneliness. we are all such different individuals, bound by a passion for the adventures in life, as experienced from our little mobile dwellings. at vandwellers, we find a place to give support/get support..... a tribe of our own."   by twokniveskatie

See http://autos.groups.yahoo.com/group/VanDwellers/ for more information on vandwelling.