Showing posts with label Alki Beach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alki Beach. Show all posts

Thursday, August 8, 2013

It’s true, you can’t go home again…

Kayaking on Lake Union, Seattle.

God I love my blog… a place where I can say whatever I wish!!!

IMGA0223IMGA0383

I’ve spend time this summer reconnecting with my kids and their families… at least giving it my best shot.  But I feel disconnected. 

IMGA0470IMGA0485

Revisiting places (right photo, house on right, used to live there) I have lived in the past sometimes brings good memories, but mostly bittersweet memories… and really, who needs that?  I’ve spent a couple days in West Seattle where I used to live and found myself thinking about people I knew here, thinking about getting in touch, driving past where they used to live, looking them up online, sending emails to some… but then just parking someplace I felt safe and enjoying the waterfront instead of making human contact.

IMGA0489IMGA0497

I was even able to locate on line a good friend of mine from the past (college in Indiana) who moved out here in the 80s? I think, and sent her an email but have not heard anything.  Come to think of it, most of the people that I knew here, I really have nothing in common with, except our lives crossed paths briefly back then.  I guess I am just curious but don’t seem to have any steam to actually follow-through on reconnecting with them again. So here I sit a few blocks away from the lighthouse on Alki Point, West Seattle, just wondering what I will do next to pass the time before my plane leaves for Alaska on 8/19.

Maybe I am just becoming an old hermit or ol’ crone for real?? I had even added some new events, pages, people to my Facebook but realized this morning, that all that just seems to be cluttering up my life, so I am in the process of removing them for now.  I’ve lost desire to be with people who either don’t like me or don’t want me around.  There is no fun in that for me. 

cb_c_r_pigeonsIMGA0333

Left: Richard and me in Europe (Chris behind me) in 1968.  Right: Richard in 2013.

My son is so exhausted from overwork and too much partying(i.e.fun) to have much time for me, though he has spent some quality time with me and made me feel very good.

babytooIMGA0348

Left: Tori and me in 1991.  Right: Tori in 2013.

My granddaughter, Tori,  has shown little interest in me or my life for over a decade now, though I am hoping she will give me some quality one-on-one time before I go to Alaska.  I sent her this message:

Is there any chance of you giving me any one-on-one time before I go to Alaska to kayak? It would have to be fun/good for both of us... and if you think it's something that just can't happen... of course with all that you are doing during your visit, I would understand, I am o.k. either way.

Maybe I have nothing left in common with my own relatives/ descendants except that our lives crossed briefly for a short time????

IMGA0645

Kayaking with my son, Richard Bailey,
on Lake Union, Aug. 7,2013 (houseboats in background).

But I am here now, I am available now… my kayak is here now.  All anyone can do is be available… for a short time!  It doesn’t get any better than that!  Others lives seem so structured and they have so many rules to live by… makes me very happy I have simplified my life.

I’m really ready to get on up the road, visit other “vandwellers,” see Alaska, have a nice leisurely drive down the WA-OR-CA coast, visiting more friends and vandwellers on the way and then returning to my winter home in Quartzsite AZ to relax, to make jewelry for the winter and to attend the annual Rubber Tramp Rendezvous there in Jan. 2014 where I will get to reunite with my tribe… people I have developed life-long friendships with, people with whom I do share many common interests.

IMGA0531IMGA0532

Left is a ring I made last winter, right is a ring that was my mother’s which I am going to duplicate this winter.  Looking at the two of them, I realize mine is much higher quality than my mom’s.  She probably spent a lot for her ring, but mine only cost about $15 in materials, and I cut and polished the stone myself, and did all the silver work myself.  Once the duplicate is done, I will send my Mom’s ring to my sister in Florida. (My mom’s was not even Sterling Silver and mine is.)

Also this winter, I plan to begin dancing again to get in better shape (I stopped dancing the year my granddaughter was born – 1991, because my knees were so bad and unstable).  I have to begin seriously training for the Arizona Trail which I will hike in 2015… 820 miles from Mexico to Utah.  I am very excited about this next phase of my life.  I feel 20 years young than I felt 10 years ago.

Yes, my feet are itchy again.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Wrapping things up in WA State and moving on…

pa_west_seattle_ 025

Lauren and Charlene

This visit to Washington state was bittersweet for me.  In the first place, making the decision to live on-the-road full time takes a lot of mental adjusting, but coupled with the realization that you don’t matter as much to others as they matter to you might necessitate that you do even more mental adjusting.

 Q3_to_Port_Angeles_2010_ 045 silverdale_wa_lauren_ 004

Left: Sandy and Gary in Victoria, Canada.   Right: Lauren, man enough to wear a skirt.

Lauren makes these wonderful paracord belts… everyone must have one of these. Check out his Facebook Page.  And while I watched he made my pink belt, plus he took a piece of wire and twisted a little motorcycle as a bead for my traveler’s necklace.  I’ll post a photo later.  A very talented man.  Oh and he gave me a small sculpture he made of a cactus… and cow skull… made of welding rods.

Visiting with Vandwellers Gary, Sandy, and Lauren were positive experiences for me.  They took time to be with me… because I matter to them, and I love them for that.  I got time to spend with them because I could not move on to Kirkland to see my son Rich until after July 4th due to a wedding he was attending.  After leaving Lauren in Silverdale, WA I headed across the Southworth, WA Ferry to visit with a friend in West Seattle, Moreah (who I used to rent a room from 12 years ago).  Great view of Mt. Rainier from the Ferry.

pa_west_seattle_ 012 pa_west_seattle_ 010

Left: SwankieWheels on the Ferry; Right: Mt.Rainier in background.

Moreah wasn’t available when I arrived which was fine with me because Alki Beach is my favorite place to beach comb for beach glass.  So I found a place to park my rig along the Puget Sound waterfront and walked the four blocks back to the Alki Beach.  Spent about three hours there… a doin’ my thing… until the ol’ shoulder began screaming at me.  I returned to the rig to rest, take pain pills, get dinner, rest (ooopppps-I said that).  I left voice mail messages for the people I hoped to see.  I sent out a SPOT message so my son so he would know I was there and WHERE I was. Then I copied the link the SPOT sends out and posted that and emailed it… showing everyone where I was parked. I found something to watch on t.v. and settled in for the night… a night of listening to the surf slapping gentle on the shore a few feet from my van.

pa_west_seattle_ 001Parking Spot 7/7/2010

Ring… it’s the phone.  It’s my son.  He asked if I was “Home.”  I told him I was always home.  It’s about 11pm by now.  He said he was coming by to see me.  So I watched t.v. a little longer and decided I should get up and put clothes back on.  KNOCK KNOCK on the van.  He must have called just a couple blocks from me… because he was already here.  We had a nice visit leaning against the railing overlooking the water, right next to the van.  Having just seen my granddaughter and dau-in-law at the Pirate festival, I had decided not to go to their home in Kirkland. Granddaughter Tori was packing to move out (for college), and they were packing up their stuff and painting the house in prep for selling it and “smallering down.” 

Anyway, just as Rich arrived the phone ran again, and it was Moreah.  I told her Rich had just arrived and we agreed to talk by phone in the morning and arrange a time and place to meet then.  I was surprised to learn that my son, Rich, doesn’t read my SPOT notices (which I pay $195 a year to be able to provide him and his brother with updates of my location so they won’t worry)!!?  Who am I kidding?

silverdale_fall_city_wa_ 028

Morning arrived… and I was down to three people I wanted to see before leaving WA state.  Met Moreah, showed her my rig… she was so impressed that she was taking notes about Vandwellers and how to contact them.  Said she would sure like to hook up with someone and travel with them for a month or so.  She is living SO green she hasn’t had a car in 15 years (I think that’s what she said).  We then walked four blocks to where she does Yoga and I did Yoga for the first time in my life.  It was difficult but seemed like it would be good physical therapy for my shoulder.  I left her there at the gym where she planned to work out… and walked back to my van to head out to see Conde.

silverdale_fall_city_wa_ 031

Conde is taking sewing lessons and we planned to meet at the Quality Sewing Shop which was also having a BBQ that afternoon.  She gave me the address and after driving around that location for an hour and not finding the shop, I got on line and got the Shop’s phone number and called them.  Yes that’s the place… and they gave me the CORRECT address and directions – over a mile away from the address Conde gave me.  CONDE!!!!!   (If’n you don’t want to see me, just say so… don’t send me on some darned wild goose chase for a bad address.) All kidding aside we had a nice visit at the shop, ate too much, laughed and worried all the others around us with our cutting up.  I could not go to her house to visit because she has adopted three cats in the past year or so.  Yuk.  Wish I could have seen her husband and son as well.  More on Conde.

I pulled myself away from my friend and headed toward Wenatchee to visit son Chris and his family.  Laid over at Vandweller Suanne’s house in Fall City, WA.  Her hubby fixed breakfast for me the next morning and sent me on my way.  What a guy.  Thanks Suanne and John.  Breakfast was fresh eggs from John’s chickens and homemade sausage, toast and watermelon. Yum.

fall_city_wa_to_Spokane_ 017 fall_city_wa_to_Spokane_ 021 fall_city_wa_to_Spokane_ 023 fall_city_wa_to_Spokane_ 024

Arriving in Wenatchee on the hottest day of the year (7/8/2010), I found myself sitting in a Wal-Mart parking lot for six hours waiting for my son Chris to return from an afternoon with friends (I understand swimming was involved and boy would that have been nice). I saw some little boys across the street hosing each other with a garden hose and almost went over and ask them to get me wet. The temp in the van got up to 100 degrees F and so I headed for my son’s house so I could sit out on the porch… and wait for them to come home.  Finally, I got to see Will (age 3 months).  What a cutie.  He looks like his Uncle Rich (below Will on left, Rich on right). 

wenatchee_two 049 1968_van_grandma_boys002 

Left: William James Bailey; Right: Richard St. Clair Bailey being held by his great-grandma Olive Smith.  Olive is Will’s great-great-grandma.chris002Will’s daddy, Chris.hazel_bud_hal wenatchee_two 011

Grandpa, Harold Bailey,held by his dad Bud Bailey.  Right: Will.  I dare anyone to say they don’t look alike.

Visited about an hour when the babies got put to bed.  The night air had finally cooled off enough that I could sleep and I had a parking spot where I could leave some doors open.  Next day (7/9/2010) I got to visit the babies some more.  Didn’t get a good photo of Jenelle, that I could publish.  Sorry Jenelle.  Send me one to add here.

wenatchee_two 005 wenatchee_two 008

A china doll for Zoey and a “rock egg.”  She was gonna go put it in the chicken coop laying boxes.  She is so cute.

wenatchee_two 009 wenatchee_two 012

A book from Grandma (she is still clutching the rock egg). Is he cute, or what?

wenatchee_two 035 wenatchee_two 037

Matching haircuts. Grandma and Will (he saying… “don’t touch me!”

wenatchee_two 043wenatchee_two 045

Zoey is so sweet and tender to her little brother… and he watches her.

wenatchee_two 047 wenatchee_two 054

wenatchee_two 062 wenatchee_two 064

Spankie retires to live at Zoey’s.

wenatchee_two 078  wenatchee_two 081

Awh… nothing like a swimming pool on a hot July day!

My son, Chris, has given up being a commercial pilot (where he was away from the babies about four days a week), to become a farmer, he wanted to  be there for his growing children that much.  He has 3/4 acre planted and preps his veggies and takes them to the local Farmer’s Market. 

wenatchee_one_ 001wenatchee_two 071

His presentation of his produce is very fine… and so people are drawn to him… and he sells out each time.  Some neighbors (substitute grandparents for my grandkids)… come over and help him clean and package his product.  They joke “We work for food!”  Chris gets up at 4:30am to go tend his crops, so he can return home before the heat of the day and “be daddy.”  I have never doubted that he would be successful at anything he ever decided to do.  He’s a gem (but I learned that he also doesn’t check my SPOT messages – so guess I can save myself $195 a year??!!).

 wenatchee_two 038 wenatchee_two 069

Getting set up to package his produce.  Zoey helps.  The neighbors help.

wenatchee_two 074 wenatchee_two 075 wenatchee_two 070

I helped as well until my shoulder began hurting too much.  About 2pm when the babies went down for naps… I decided it was time to leave.  My son walked me to the van… and I was off again.  It was sad leaving them without getting all the photos I had hoped for and without having a good visit with my son. 

wenatchee_one_ 016

 

 wenatchee_two 081

 They are just so darned cute.  Can’t wait to see them again.

Jenelle and Chris… you are great parents.  Thanks for giving me to beautiful grandchildren.  I’m looking forward to watching them grow.

I then headed to Spokane and I had learned that Conde’s son, Adam, was there working with a friend who vends at shows and events.  That didn’t work out and I didn’t get to see him… so managed to keep driving and got up into the ID mountains where it was cooler, before bedtime.  I was in a lot of pain… from cleaning veggies and picking Zoey up a couple times.  I needed to get some relief and to get cooled off.  This morning (Sat. 7/10/2010 – it was only 65 degrees inside the van). I got a fairly good night’s sleep, in spite of the traffic whizzing past me.

Why was my visit to Washington state bittersweet?  This is difficult to put words to.  I wanted to see everyone I saw, but I wanted more.  Gary, I wanted to do more with you… maybe kayak Crescent Lake… but I understand your role as landlord and besides… my surgeon wants me to give the shoulder more time.  Lauren, you are amazing… wish I hadn’t been so antsy to see my kids and grands.  I’ll get the compass mounted… and the belt loop will catch up with me one day.  Moreah, you are still a hoot.  Hope you had a good workout after I left.  Wish I could have seen some photos of Kayla.  I can’t believe our granddaughters are teens already.  We sure had fun together when they were smaller… the Balloon Man in your backyard, the girls signing tunes on Kayla’s front porch, the trip to the Zoo… so much fun.  Wish the girls could see each other again.  They both swore back then they would be singers.  Well, Tori is a singer… I forgot to tell you that.  Boy can she sing. And Conde… well, there’s nothing left to say about Conde… I’ve said it on the linked page.  I’m glad we had a nice long visit.  Tony… sorry I missed you.  And Adam… well, as always… I wish you all the luck in your future.  Sorry we couldn’t meet up in Spokane as I drove through there last night.  You should have made time to see me.  I was so looking forward to a visit with you.

wenatchee_two 019 Zoey’s pets.

  So… here’s why is was bittersweet… spending time with others requires a commitment of time to plan and carry out. And wanting more than others can give me… is bittersweet. It’s a continuation of my old habits… doing for others, being there for others, trying to keep others in my life.  It takes a lot of energy and each year it seems to take even more out of me.  I think this is the last year (or month) that I’ll being doing that.  Now I’m just going to travel… and if others happen to be on the same path at the same time we will meet.  In a couple years I might consider being closer to grandkids Zoey and Will on a more regular basis.  For now… I just need to be free.  I’ve never had that in the past… true freedom.  I feel tired and exhausted.  How can you want more (I think I could spend all day everyday with Zoey and Will) and want less at the same time.  I don’t know the answer… and don’t need to know it right now…. Just accept it for what it is and live NOW.

fall_city_wa_to_Spokane_ 010

Heading across Eastern Washington, it was a Microsoft kinda day.

I think more of us should do that… live for ourselves in the NOW and stop giving up so much of ourselves for the benefit of others.  I know that goes against what most of us were brought up to do… but that’s what I think.  It’s just my opinion.

Who is Swankie?

My photo
Anywhere, USA, Full-Time USA traveler, United States
In 2006, I was shopping for a wheelchair. By 2007, I had new knees, better health and by 2008 a kayak. In Aug 2013, I kayaked my 49th state, Alaska, at the Holgate Glacier and in May 2014, I kayaked Hawaii, my 50th state, to celebrate my 70th Birthday and the finale to the wonderful adventure of Kayaking America. Next up... Re-kayaking southwestern states.

Followers: