The Awakening of Swankie (being all I can be… to me)

If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself.  If you want to eliminate the suffering of the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.  Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation. Lao-tzu

Left Monterey, CA yesterday morning arriving in Paso Robles, CA where I may stay a few days.  Away from anyone I know, away from doctors, just away. Last night I parked in a large parking lot not far from Walmart.  Used to be a Kohl’s store there but it is closed now.  One other camper in lot.  It was quiet and I rested and caught up on stuff.  Got the ladder out and cleaned off my solar panel, and took the plastic off the roof vent, as I doubt I will get any rain here and I need the air flow. I will fix the leak soon, when I get out to open spaces.

So, I woke this morning thinking, I’m nobody to no one – no one’s mother, daughter, sister, wife, lover, friend.  No one.  OK, then so I need to be all that to and for myself. 

The people I have loved the most, have hurt me the deepest.  In some cases so deep that I can not to bear to think of them or be with them anymore.  I could not be to them what I wanted to be to them or what they wanted me to be.  I CAN be all that to me and if I work hard and fast I will be able to leave the second-best legacy behind for them – the genealogy I have spent 1/2 a century working to collect.  Statistics say I have 15 years left, well, probably more as I’m a lot healthier than most living 73-year olds.

Feels good, fresh, starting over at will.  No obligations to others, just me!  Take the best care of me that I can.  Be the best I can be.  That felt hopeless before, but with the recent involuntary weight loss (caused by the removal of a hormone-secreting benign tumor in my right airway, blocking air flow to my right lung) I have hope that I can be all that – to me, for me.  Yes, it is time to be selfish and it is o.k. to be selfish.

So, I better get busy.  Today, I am working on genealogy notes laying around on my desk.  Be gone, notes, be gone.

Monterey, CA, revisited (October 2013)

I lived in Monterey CA in 2008.  Visiting in May 2010, I ran across a motley Goose family at the Naval Postgraduate School.  What a delight.  A white domestic goose had crossed with a Canadian Goose and they had five little goslings, that had really mixed up genes.  That was also another older male Canadian Goose hanging with them. 

May 2010

This visit, I decided to try and find them.  I looked all over town.  At one point I saw a flock flying and spotted one light colored goose and thought that might be them.  But I returned again to the Naval Postgraduate School my last day in Monterey, and found the very same geese.   In the above photo, you see one dark gosling.  The group I found had the two older Canadian Geese, plus one more that looked like them.  And then the white goose, and three other light colored geese with faint markings like a Canadian Goose and the fifth goose kind of looked like a Canadian goose, except his head.

October 2013.

The family of eight is still in tact and are either sterile or nor reproducing.  That swim together though there is a larger flock of Canadian Geese nearby.  There where in the water very near where I first saw them three and 1/2 years ago.  The males looks smaller than the neighboring Canadian Geese.  I think they are beautiful.

A lady who works there told me any time she is near them, they attack her, but small children and other people can walk by them and they don’t do anything.  I’m writing this off line as I am out of internet range… but want to search online to learn more about how old geese are before they mate, and if the hybrids are sterile???

OK, yes, it fascinates me.  Forgive me if I am boring you.

37th State: Iowa - Then got stranded in SD (Sep. 28, 2011).

 

 Sunset after my Iowa paddle.

As I was loading up my kayak, a young man came to me and asked to borrow a wrench.  Then he began talking to me about my kayaking adventure.  He noted I also had a bike.  He helped push the kayak into the trailer… then he said “Do you mind if I ask how old you are?”  He was genuinely flabbergasted that I am 67 years old.  So I told him about not being able to walk in 2004… and all that I had gone through to get this freedom and do all I do today.  He wanted to know if I’d be in the area awhile… I think he was going to “show off” his find. 

Flattering, really. But, believe it or not, my paycheck of 9/21 didn’t even stretch to the end of September… and I thought this was the month I could finally begin saving a bit of money and make it to Arizona in time to take classes in jewelry making (turning my rocks into something profitable).  Ha! 

I fell in Monterey CA a couple years ago (April 2008 I think) and messed up my face and broke several new crowns off… almost knocked a tooth out of my head… all resulting in thousands of dollars of bills not covered by my dental insurance.  Well, it turns out I broke another tooth off at the gum line when I fell in Monterey and broke my face(literally)... it just didn't fall out until I bumped it getting out of the kayak in TN.  Then it was sensitive.  I had two posts put in the tooth... and the crown glued back on, but there was nothing really to glue it to.  So last week it fell out again and the only fix was a root canal, a build up for crown prep, and prepping the tooth under the gum line to receive the temp crown.

Before                                                  After

Looks pretty good, but I'm really really sore, my eyes are swollen, and gums hurt... think I'm fighting an infection there.  Insurance paid 80% of the root canal, but nothing on the crown prep build up????   So that cost was over $350.  That was my gas money to Arizona.

Stranded in South Dakota Then yesterday (9/28/11) morning I realized my rear tires were loosing air... and that large chunks of rubber were falling off the tread.  Well, after what happened to co-vandweller Brenda (who rolled and totaled her van last week), I had to fix that too... so I got two used tires, balanced and mounted for $110.00 total.  I could not have bought one new tire for that and it will at least get me to AZ.  That was my food money for the next three weeks. I'm glad I'm not buying gas this winter while I’m parked in AZ taking classes.  What has made matters worse is getting here to my SD mail drop to pick up my mail and learning in spite of the HOLD on the mail forwarding order... two days earlier, she mailed my stuff to the address I was at in OH a couple months ago. 

Really discouraging... meds, new checks, my tabs for my van which expire 10/1... and new orders for sketches with cash and checks enclosed.  And I thought the Sept payday was gonna get me to AZ!  I guess I forgot about the sneaker plans of mice and men!!! But the gal at my mail drop has been really nice.  Then she had to rush off and teach a class... and directed me to a place she thought I could park for the night.  I told her I could not afford a campground.  So we parted with the plan to meet later today (9/29/11) to see about details of getting my SD drivers license.   I went off to check the place she told me about only to find it inadequate for my rig... too small.  Scouted out the area and found a public park, parked and began doing email. 

Then she called me up, said she had come looking for me and where was I?  I told her, she came and got me and took me to the State Park she uses (here you have to have a receipt from a motel or the park in order to prove intent to become a resident to get D.L.) and this morning she will call the Park and make sure they write the receipt out the right way so it will work for DMV.   She mentioned it only costing a few dollars for a tent site, but when we got here she paid for me to have a spot with electric next to a bathroom... on the water.   Right on the water and it's too dammed windy to kayak.  Nice and calm and sunny yesterday but too late to put in when I got here. 

So that's another $18.00 out of her pocket.  She really feels bad over all this... especially since I've been sending her customers... a new one just yesterday. Then I will have to drive another 30 miles to do that – get the Driver’s License.   But there is a Super Wal-Mart there and I believe I can park there until the mail returns from OH. So very frustrating.  I told her the only reason I drove this far north from the Iowa paddle was to pick up my mail and get the auto tabs, and get the D.L. etc.  So, no meds, sore mouth, no art work to work on... just a couple I have already been paid for that I need to finish.  Have plenty of food on board. 

Have a half sister and three nieces about 130 miles away... but haven't heard from them yet about my situation.  At the very worst I will have to stay put until 10/20... and then beeline it to AZ... the bad part of that is  missing three weeks worth of classes. And someone just sent me a $5 donation through this site to PayPal.  Thank you to him, and to anyone else who can help me head south.  I promise I will pay it forward.  My goal this winter is to learn as much as I can about turning my rocks into saleable items… and SAVE money so I don’t have situations like this in the future.

Today I will be looking for work on Craig's List, listing my services, getting my Driver’s License, checking local bulletin boards for odd jobs, checking with newspapers for the possibility of selling my story/???  Just following through with anything I can think of to get out of this jam and trying not to ask for help.

My 50-state kayaking and camping adventure.

Starting in June 2009 I began a 50-state adventure with the idea of kayaking/camping in all 50-states. My van is now outfitted with a mobile computer lab and solar panel, t.v. antenna, and kayak rack. It has all the comforts of home. I needed a new goal in life... one bigger than myself... and this tour is what I came up with. I will be updating the map below... for those of you who wish to track my travels.

FIRST STATE PADDLED... I became a volunteer for the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary... learned to kayak here in the Monterey Bay and love it. So, that makes California my first state. More photos will be posts and can also be found on my Facebook... http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2009592&id=1573053507 .

SECOND STATE PADDLED... I made a "shake-down" trip to AZ and TX... to get my van ready, install Solar, etc. Stopped in AZ to visit a friend from High School and also to kayak with another friend at Watson Lake in Prescott, AZ. See photos on my Facebook... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2009592&id=1573053507&saved

Departing Monterey Bay first week of July 2009, to begin working on states 3-50. Last two states will be Alaska and Hawaii. I'll drive to Alaska. I'll fly to Hawaii and rent a kayak... that will be the last state. Then maybe I'll settle down.... ahhhh NOT! People ask how long my adventure will last... and I just reply "Don't know!" "Don't care!" "However long it takes."

I hope people will follow along with me in the adventure.

Beginning of the Kayaking Adventure (Dec. 2008)

Just found this page on my old digroots.com website, a site I have discontinued and so thought I would upload it here to give my back story.  In 2006, I could barely walk and had bilateral knee replacements.

December 2008

Kayaking the waterways of Central California is my way of celebrating the holidays... not exactly Midwest style but I am loving it! My sons are still in Washington State and I'm hoping they will contribute something to this holiday update. My sister, Judy, is now living back in Indiana and has given me a two car garage with overhead loft for Christmas and is trying to get me to move back there to be near her. My brother, Jim, is still in Las Vegas and still enjoying his life there. My father’s second family (my eight half-siblings) are scattered all over the country.

As for me, I have lost 60 lbs. since leaving Washington State in August 2007. I spend my days biking, kayaking, and walking and running. I am most proud of "running" since I have not been able to do so in over 30 years. Below is my most recent outing of any length... although I take many shorter trips in the Monterey area.

December 2008 Beach Combing

Dec. 4(Thurs):   Drove to Morro Bay Harbor and Estuary State Park and got a campsite for the night.

Dec. 5(Fri): Feeling great today.  Put kayak in near campground at Morro Bay State Park Marina and paddled 7 miles (out to mouth of Bay and back). That is a seal headed toward me. This is the location of the Morro Bay Blue Heron Rookery.  Standing four feet tall with a wingspan of about six feet, the great blue heron is the largest of all the long-legged birds seen on the central coast of California.  At low tide, the peak feeding time, herons can be seen standing motionless in shallow water watching for small fish. During non-breeding seasons, the Morro Bay estuary may support as many as fifty blue herons.  Other species commonly seen in the rookery are the white egret and the cormorant.

Forgot why I wanted to paddle here – to see the Indian shell middens and beach comb for sand dollars seaside of the Dunes.  So decided I’d have to stay overnight and go out again tomorrow.  This area offers magnificent views of Morro Rock and has some of the best kayak surfing in the state. 

Morro Rock is one of the “Seven Sisters,” a linear series of volcanic peaks extending from Morro Bay to San Luis Obispo.  The volcanic intrusions occurred about 22-24 million years ago and probably never reached the surface to form true volcanoes.  The soft sediment and ash that once covered the intrusion at Morro Rock have eroded leaving the 581-foot high rock we see today.  The rock was named “El Moro” by a Spanish explorer.

Dec. 6 (Sat):

The hike across the dunes to seaside was strenuous but well worth it.  I put in at Tidewater Park and had a short paddle straight across and beached the boat (or mudded it) and hiked.  Hard work but worth it the second I found the shell middens left by the Chumash Indians and soon reached the beach and began finding sand dollars.

It is a beautiful wide beach. No one was out there… but me.  You can’t walk there.  Some surfers had surfed across and hiked in (3) but left when I arrived.  I had miles of pristine beach just to myself.  Made a couple mistakes though… not clearly marking my trail through the dunes and not sitting down to rest and eat before heading back to kayak.  I was very exhausted before reaching the boat, sat, drank the rest of my water and ate a couple bites of a snack bar. 

After resting, I pushed off, had an easy paddle back only to find someone had parked so close to my van, I couldn't load up.  I pulled the boat out, moved the van – pulled the kayak along side and then had to rest before loading up.  The Estuary is amazing and is 2300 acres of mud flats, eelgrass, tidal wetlands and open water channels.  Over two dozen threatened and endangered species live in the watershed, including: peregrine falcon, brown pelican, sea otters, black rail, snowy plover, steelhead trout, etc.

Decided to drive to Morro Rock – surfers abound there and that beach is heavily visited – surfers, walkers, runners, pooping dogs, etc.  I took a long nap only to awake to one of the most amazing sunsets I’d ever seen. 

Decided on a hot meal and walked through town and along the docks and noticed crowds of people lining the shoreline and docks with blankets and chairs, etc.  I asked an elderly lady if this many people was normal or what?  Well it was the annual Christmas flotilla of decorated boats.  Took some pics with my phone, but have yet to figure out how to download them to my computer.  There was a live band playing at the end of one dock. I watched part of the parade, then found a Thai place and got hot food.  What a treat.  I slept really well.

Dec. 7 (Sun.): Drove to Spooners Cove. 

Did some beach combing and was finding what looked like Jade, Jasper, agates, etc.  A man stopped to chat and said he grew up there and had been gone 20 years but nothing had changed a bit.  He was a diver and going out into the Cove and so I took my kayak out.  Bad idea… not a spot for a rookie.  We joked about saving each other and turns out he probably saved me. 

This was taken from the mouth of the bay, looking back towards the beach... and swells were lifting me up about 12-15'. Exciting to say the least. I had a rough surf landing, boat got caught in an undertow and the next wave flipped it over on top of me, pinning me down.  The diver grabbed the boat as I struggled to get up on my feet again, the whole while the undertow trying to suck me down.  Everything turned out all right… no injuries, but lost a bottle of water… and my waterproof camera case IS waterproof.   (11/2013 - This is a very dangerous location for boating or swimming.  People have died here.)

Decided to stay at this campground Sunday and Monday night – and get in my fill of beach combing the next day. 

Dec. 8(Mon): So quiet last night – the only sound was that of my digestive juices.  Not even the surf sounds made it back to the campground area. Slept until 11am.  I spent the entire day beach combing.  Lots of others doing the same and taught me what to look for.  There was even a wedding there in the afternoon.

Dec. 9(Tues) High Tide was at 6:25am. I was there at 6:45am… I was alone. Had the place to myself for hours.  About 10:30am cars began to arrive.  Low tide will be at 1:42pm.  I’m going to check out of the campground and come spend a little more time on the beach and checking out the tidal pools. Found abalone shells, other seashells, lots of Jade, amber, jasper, and even an arrowhead (believed to be 12,000 years old). 

I’m hooked on this place.  Gorgeous.    Drove back through town and got Thai spring rolls for lunch and Salt water taffy for xmas gifts.

This place is awesome.  I didn’t see ½ of Morro Bay.  It’s good there for kayaking all winter.  The Beach is a dream… this Spooners Cove is a beachcombers dream and the campground here is only lightly used.  In the late 1800s, coastal steamers stopped in Spooner's Cove to load and unload supplies for the Spooner family, early ranchers in the area. On the south bluff overlooking the cove, a warehouse was built with a long wooden chute to deliver goods to the waiting ships. The ranch house is now an interpretive center for the park.

I think I’ll be spending a lot of time here in the future.  (11/2013 - I wrote that five years ago and am still drawn back to that area whenever I get to the West Coast.  This trip, this year, I kept thinking… this is where I would like to retire-retire.)

(11/2013 – I’ll be back! )  Update:  Aug. 20, 2013, I kayaked the Holgate Glacier in Alaska... only amazing considering it was the 49th state I have kayaked in four years and that in 2006, I was shopping for a wheelchair. I now have new knees, better health and a kayak. Thank you for following along and won't you join me in May 2014 to kayak Hawaii, my 50th state, and celebrate my 70th Birthday, the finale to the wonderful adventure of Kayaking America? Next up... Hiking the Arizona Trail, 820 miles in 2015.