Stranded in Montana… Swankie’s “stupid” week.

WARNING:  This is the blog post you couldn’t wait for… right!  Warning, it is very long.

Wenatchee, WA:  I arrived in Wenatchee, WA midday and called my son from Wal-Mart parking lot.  It was the hottest day of the year so far.  They were on their way out and wouldn’t be back until 8pm.  I should have asked if I could go to the house, and lay in the kiddy pool in the backyard, but I didn’t know they had one.  So, I waited in the parking lot until 7pm. The van got so hot I finally just went and sat on their porch and waited for my son and his family to get home.  They went swimming at a friends.  My son didn’t know I was coming because he never reads my SPOT notices.

Zoey remembered me and gave me a hug. I gave her little gifts I had collected along the way. Will is three months old and attached to his mom... and cried each time I held him.  Maybe tomorrow will be better, maybe in a year or two.  They are both so cute I just want to eat them up.  I’d give almost anything if I could be with them every day.  I’d like to watch each new thing they learn or accomplish.  I want to be an abused and overused Grandma.  But, as some of my friends know… that can’t always happen.

Look at the 3-month old baby trying to turn and look at the book Daddy is reading to Zoey.  Amazing, methinks.

I told my son I was spending $195 a year for my SPOT GPS device so he and his brother would know where I was all the time.  I guess they only made their plans for that afternoon, the previous night.  He said he no longer checks his email but once or twice a month since he stopped flying and started playing farmer/daddy, but he thinks what I am doing is great.

So, I guess I can use his and Rich's slots on SPOT to let other people who want to track me... track me.

The day after I arrived, Chris had to go pick produce all morning.  His compressor froze up on him today and his trailer was not down at 40 degrees where it is suppose to be.  He is a little upset tonight about that. 

He gave up being a commercial pilot to be a farmer (for Wenatchee Farmers’ Markets) and a stay-at-home-dad when not busy with his produce or at a market.  Little Zoey tries to help him.  I’m glad he is doing this for his kids, as it was something he didn’t have himself while growing up.  He is a very very good Dad.  Jenelle is a very good Mom.

Hope to spend the morning just watching the babies, taking pictures and getting to know Zoey better.  “Will” will have to wait until the next trip when hopefully he will be more outgoing. If he turns out as good as Zoey, I'll have no complaints.  Zoey hugged me several times, and when she kissed everyone goodnight, she gently leaned over and kissed little Will on the forehead. 

Will and Zoey have very very good parents.  Spankie, my van monkey, has retired to live with them.  Spankie… beware of the cat and Otis.

I pushed off  after spending time with them and head toward WY.  Better drive in the heat then sit and smelter.  Did you ever see anything so cute?

Hoped to see another friend in Spokane, but that didn’t work out so I kept driving.

Spent one night on the mountains in ID.  Nice to get to cooler temps.  Next day I took a long nap at Lookout Pass.  Lookout Pass Ski and Recreation Area is in/near Wallace, ID.

Drive to WA - MT:

Saw a craft fair and pulled off the road at Old Mission State Park:

“The oldest standing building in all of Idaho is found here, in the Coeur d’Alene’s Old Mission State Park. The Mission of the Sacred Heart or Sacred Heart Mission was constructed between 1850 and 1853 by Catholic missionaries and members of the Coeur d’Alene Tribe. Listed on the National Register of Historic Places, the Sacred Heart Mission and the Coeur d’Alene’s Old Mission State Park provide an educational experience not found anywhere else, giving visitors an opportunity to examine the dynamics and complexities between Jesuit missionaries and the tribal people among whom they settled. The park features the Sacred Heart Mission building, a restored Parish House and an historic cemetery. The visitor center includes an interpretive exhibit about the Mission and the Coeur d'Alene Indians. A walking audio tour tape is available.” From their website.

A couple of craft fair photos:

This is the most interesting spinning wheel I had ever seen… built into a table… and so you have the table top to rest things on.  Amazing.

Katie… I heard you mention Tatting once… so I take these photos for you.

Steve you might find these interesting.  Slabs of rock with a hole cut in them, into which a wick is placed.  A jar for fuel is glued to the bottom of the rock.  I’m thinking an adapted approach to this might work for your rock/candle???

Found this wonderful little spot to kayak…   at Old Mission Landing at Old Mission State Park, Cataldo, ID.  It is right off I-90.   Easy access.  Boy did I want to kayak.  Saw only two people (50-60 age bracket)… who had just returned from Kayaking.  Said it was beautiful.

Missoula, MT.

In Missoula MT I found Currents Aquatics Center located in McCormick Park, 600 Cregg Lane (Map). Contact  (406) 552-6257 or (406) 721-PARK (7275). I can get a free weeklong pass to use the facilities.  The facility is wonderful.  There is a fishing lake for children, a ropes course, ball fields, open grassy areas, and the swim center (which is totally geared for kids)… with tall swirling water slides, etc.

 

The kids fishing lake and the Aquatic Center.

  

The ropes course.  Cool.

 

View from entrance.. love the mountains.

I went in this morning and told them I was visiting and thinking of living here and saw on the  website that you could get a free week pass to try out the facility. I got the pass. It is a short pool if you are a swimmer, but great showers and a neat looking hot tub. Soon... I’m going inside.

My recovering shoulder is screaming for heat... and I think the hot tub and hot shower sounds so much nicer especially for FREE.  And I will enjoy trying to swim again... see what the arm is up to.

A fellow vandweller wrote:

You know, Charlene, you made a point that never occurred to me.  I became very independent out of necessity and as a result my kids have too.  And I wasn't one of those "empty nesters" who hated to see them move out when the time came.  I was happy to see them on their own and happy to finally have only myself to worry about.  Selfish?  Maybe.  But having married at 17 and having my first child at barely 18 it was great to finally be in that position.  I just never thought my kids would so totally become detached from me.  Thanks for offering to introduce me to kayaking.  I've seen in the paper that there are several opportunities around here to try it out and I may be doing that.  Looking forward to meeting you and lots of others on the road one day.  Thanks for writing back.

(name not shown)

My response:

Dear (name not shown),

I hope we will meet one day too.  I'm sorry that you are going through similar heartbreak about your kids.  I don't know, maybe as single parents we taught them too much independence.  Whatever it is... we deserve better.  I am doing what I'm doing out of spite and because I don't want to sit around allowing them to depress me even more.  I thought I was done "grandma-ing" too when my son popped these two babies on me.  Now I toy with the idea of returning in a couple years and trying to play grandma again... but might just be in for more heartbreak.

If you want to hang with me... just find me.  Even with the shoulder not healed yet, I had no trouble kayaking.  I think you could do it gently... and enjoy it.  I could go out with you... you could rent one a few times to try it out.

It's not a pity party, it's just a sad statement of facts.  I think you sounded very upbeat.  We do deserve our lives.
After all, they are living theirs' aren't they?
Regards, Charlene

So, then I had the air pressure checked on my tires and learned one was too bad to continue driving.  I only had $300 left to my name.  Stranded in MT with no "new tire money." I'm too low on $ to spend anything on anything until 7/21. If I can decide on one to buy now to get me on down the road... I would do that and buy a second one in August.  And begin a savings account for tire money (or for my 49th and 50th states).

Was so frustrated and felt so trapped, I just drove out of town a ways looking for some cool air, privacy and wilderness.  Found it on a little road going up to Garnet Ghost Town and Back Country Byway.  I couldn’t go more than about 3 miles up pulling the trailer and found a place to turn around and pull over for the night.  I want to return here and go all the way up to Garnet Pass… without the trailer in tow.  No overnight camping there, but I parked along the road about 2.5 miles up… and was not disturbed all night.  I was amazed at how quiet it was up there.  At the bottom of the road is a large parking area also and I think Vandwellers could get by there.

After a break to clear my mind I returned to Missoula to resolve the issues… of tires, shoulder, eyes, money, etc.  I returned things to Wal-Mart that I wasn’t pleased with.  I returned case lots of food I had not opened.  I sent in a rebate on my new air card.  I returned the Buff I had ordered which I did not like as well as the one Katie had in Pahrump, NV this spring.  I returned the ink cartridges I just bought, and then learned my printer was no longer working (oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that… I put in a new cartridge, and the printer said “The printer’s ink pads have reached the end of their service life… turn off your printer.”  I called Epson, and was told they would send a new one out in 10 days.  God, I don’t want to stay her ten more days… so I asked if they would ship it to friends in Minnesota.  They said they would.  I may or may not have to ship this one back to him.  I called Escapees to have my mail also forwarded to Minnesota also.  Well, now I don’t know what else to do but wait… and I can’t even finish the projects that require my printer.

AAA came to the Aquatic Center to take the bad tire off.  And the guy was a doo-doo bird.  He didn’t know if he had a jack on his truck, he didn’t know if he had air on his truck, and then he went to put the lug-nut cover back on without tightening down the lug nuts.  I had to stop him… boy that day really wore me out.

The spare is a new full sized tire, how lucky can I get.  Not a lot of air in it but I'll get to a gas station after I shower and soak in a hot tub for a while.  Don't know yet if I'll go on to WY or try to resolve more of these issues while I’m here.  I now believe the damage was done while that tire was on the front end (recently -in Pahrump, NV in April- had them rotated to rear) and might only need a front-end alignment.  I do need two new tires at least, but no longer think the rear axle or the trailer tongue is the problem.  It will be good to rest a couple days now without worrying about the bad tire. 

But maybe hanging out here will be a good thing if I can fix some health issues:  the eye I had surgery and one is infected... got meds ... and it got a little better but a couple days later, they were both worse. 

Went to the NOW CARE clinic on Sundays 7/18 and saw Dr. Steven J. Thompson, D.O.  Took me off the drops I was on and gave me a new script (great…have to spend more money).

The shoulder I had surgery on 2 months ago is driving me nuts all the way down to my fingertips.  CA doctor wants me to see MT doctor and there is an ortho urgent care clinic I can be seen at.  I hope they will give me a couple Physical Therapy sessions so I can know for sure I'm doing the right PT.  And now I seem to be getting the sinuses mad again... they hate cities and pollution(number one reason I want to get out of town).

Will spend most of today outside the van...  do laundry, etc.  Do shoulder (I hope).  Take a bike ride... great trails here along the Clark Fork River.  Have another hot tub soak and shower.  And park someplace tonight where a guy is not going to pull up beside me at 3am with his radio blaring... his truck door open so he can hear the blaring, while he puts traffic barriers up right next to my van... and all around the area for some lane-painting stripes happening in the Sears parking lot.  I started to drive away... and he said I was o.k. go in and get my tire in the morning and then move... and apologized for waking me up and turned off the radio... like a lot of good that did me... go back to sleep... HA!   So that gave me about three hrs sleep that night... and probably won't manage all I listed below, because as soon as I get sleepy today... I'm a sleeping.

I wrote an email exchange with my old lawyer who handled the van accident:

Me: It's odd how something terrible happens to you... and you feel like it's the end of the world... then suddenly you see some light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel like the "accident" gave me this second chance to live.  How strange is that? 

Lawyer replies: Hoorah for you!  So glad to hear you’re doing well. A better word than strange is “courage” for the way you came out of a very difficult emotional and physical circumstance. Not many people would have.

Me: Never say die... you gotta keep on fighting.  1/4 of my high school classmates are deceased.  People younger then me look older than me.  I can't say I'm 100% over the accident, I still jump when other drivers do stupid things, and I can't stand tailgaters... I won't let anyone near the rear of my van.  No ONE!  But I can say, without your help, this new lease on life would not have been possible.

Me: I'm still doing pretty well although I had to have a second surgery on my right shoulder... and it's been two months now.  It's not healing very fast this time.  I'm in MT heading to WY to kayak there.  I've done eight states now.  Planned to send you a photo postcard, but my printer died.
Hope things are well with you and the firm.  Oh Dan, I forgot to tell you, I got a grandson on April 2, 2010... spitting image of his grandpa who died Dec. 31, 2009.  Sad he never go to see our precious grandson.  Two granddaughters(18 and 2) and now a fantastic little boy (who wont' let grandma hold him-pout).  Check my blog link below for his photos.

Lawyer: Thanks for the update.  I’m so busy this summer I’ll have to have my vacation vicariously through your kayak trip.  Congratulations on new life in the family!

One Good Lawyer:  Daniel Kilpatrik

Davidson- Czeisler- & Kilpatrick PS
520 Kirkland Way Suite 400
Kirkland, WA  98019
(425)788-7014

Here are some of the things that happened in Missoula:

... ran out of $ in MT due to poor planning and bad tires...

... left side door open while driving (my front bike wheel and new floor mat that were on the side step... didn't fall out!)

... dinted the front left corner of my trailer while backing up

A guy helping me back out of a Laundromat parking lot... did not stop me when I began to jack-knife and I just dented the front right corner of my trailer and rear right corner of van.  I have not looked yet to see if my bike got damage.  I had a bad feeling about parking where I did.. and should have listen to the little voice in my head.  Arghhhhhhh! :(

... got an eye infection – no EYE infections.  Nothing is working so far.  Eyes are sensitive and I’m staying out of the bright light and sunshine.

… my printer died.

OK, so I've gone with ONE Dunlop tire ($127) for now... and got that, the rotation, the alignment at Sears for $225 total.  (The first quote I got on my exact tire on the van now was $225.) I just needed the peace of mind.  The front left was bad... alignment.  And both front tires were toed in too far.  I feel safe now... and can leave when I am ready... but might still wait til I get money 7/21. Oh and that exact tire was selling at the PX for  $180.00.  Think I'll wait a little while before I replace the other tires.  And save $ in prep.

I finally managed to be seen by an Ortho doctor, who x-rayed my arm... tested me, called my CA doctor, has given me a script for the pain med... and arranged for me to have 2 physical therapy sessions per week for the next 6 weeks. The day wore me out and I was ready for that hot tub soak and a good nights sleep.

Also... for a long time I coveted Bob Wells United States map on his camper door... and finally got one at Camping World (before leaving WA)... and at last got it mounted while being stranded in Missoula. It's so way cool. 

Lots of lessons to be learned... and one in particular that will serve me well is Kathleen's suggestion to use a notebook... you start a page with the money you have... and then just subtract each expenditure... so you can always glance down at that page... and see what you have to work with (instead of blindly plodding along using your bank card). That's gonna work for me.

Looks worse in person.

Sunday, 7/18:  RECAP.

Well, I've $101 left and 3 days til payday. Being stranded in Missoula has some benefits... like taking time to see the doctor about my eyes. Getting a chance to see a physical therapist about my shoulder (funny thing, once I had an appointment set up for PT, the shoulder began getting better?).

Got some projects finished, like getting my U.S. Map mounted and photographed. My gas tank is almost on empty but I'm sitting in the parking lot at Costco... and will buy $20 in a little bit. That should get me to Weds. if I don't do a lot of driving.

I'm going to use Kathleen's method for managing my money better. Here's my plan.

1) as soon as my pay is in the bank... transfer $100.00 to savings... not to be touched unless for a new tire, airline ticket to Alaska or Hawaii, etc.

2) deduct the things that are set up for EFT for monthly or annual payments.

3) write down on a table or notebook to be kept at hand in the front seat to record/and subtract each and every debit draft I make... so that I will always know how much is available at any one time.

When my balance gets too low... find a place to camp/kayak until the next payday.

Let's see how well this works. (cross your fingers for me)  I say this was my “stupid week” for not being aware of the condition of my tires, not having a $ reserve for such emergencies, not taking care of my eyes, and almost loosing my bike tire and new van floor mat out the side door of my van, because I didn’t shut it.  Forever learning.  Pray for “smarter” weeks to come for me, won’t you?

Monday 7/19: two more days until payday.

Next post will be made on-the-road to Wyoming.

Wrapping things up in WA State and moving on…

Lauren and Charlene

This visit to Washington state was bittersweet for me.  In the first place, making the decision to live on-the-road full time takes a lot of mental adjusting, but coupled with the realization that you don’t matter as much to others as they matter to you might necessitate that you do even more mental adjusting.

 

Left: Sandy and Gary in Victoria, Canada.   Right: Lauren, man enough to wear a skirt.

Lauren makes these wonderful paracord belts… everyone must have one of these. Check out his Facebook Page.  And while I watched he made my pink belt, plus he took a piece of wire and twisted a little motorcycle as a bead for my traveler’s necklace.  I’ll post a photo later.  A very talented man.  Oh and he gave me a small sculpture he made of a cactus… and cow skull… made of welding rods.

Visiting with Vandwellers Gary, Sandy, and Lauren were positive experiences for me.  They took time to be with me… because I matter to them, and I love them for that.  I got time to spend with them because I could not move on to Kirkland to see my son Rich until after July 4th due to a wedding he was attending.  After leaving Lauren in Silverdale, WA I headed across the Southworth, WA Ferry to visit with a friend in West Seattle, Moreah (who I used to rent a room from 12 years ago).  Great view of Mt. Rainier from the Ferry.

Left: SwankieWheels on the Ferry; Right: Mt.Rainier in background.

Moreah wasn’t available when I arrived which was fine with me because Alki Beach is my favorite place to beach comb for beach glass.  So I found a place to park my rig along the Puget Sound waterfront and walked the four blocks back to the Alki Beach.  Spent about three hours there… a doin’ my thing… until the ol’ shoulder began screaming at me.  I returned to the rig to rest, take pain pills, get dinner, rest (ooopppps-I said that).  I left voice mail messages for the people I hoped to see.  I sent out a SPOT message so my son so he would know I was there and WHERE I was. Then I copied the link the SPOT sends out and posted that and emailed it… showing everyone where I was parked. I found something to watch on t.v. and settled in for the night… a night of listening to the surf slapping gentle on the shore a few feet from my van.

Parking Spot 7/7/2010

Ring… it’s the phone.  It’s my son.  He asked if I was “Home.”  I told him I was always home.  It’s about 11pm by now.  He said he was coming by to see me.  So I watched t.v. a little longer and decided I should get up and put clothes back on.  KNOCK KNOCK on the van.  He must have called just a couple blocks from me… because he was already here.  We had a nice visit leaning against the railing overlooking the water, right next to the van.  Having just seen my granddaughter and dau-in-law at the Pirate festival, I had decided not to go to their home in Kirkland. Granddaughter Tori was packing to move out (for college), and they were packing up their stuff and painting the house in prep for selling it and “smallering down.” 

Anyway, just as Rich arrived the phone ran again, and it was Moreah.  I told her Rich had just arrived and we agreed to talk by phone in the morning and arrange a time and place to meet then.  I was surprised to learn that my son, Rich, doesn’t read my SPOT notices (which I pay $195 a year to be able to provide him and his brother with updates of my location so they won’t worry)!!?  Who am I kidding?

Morning arrived… and I was down to three people I wanted to see before leaving WA state.  Met Moreah, showed her my rig… she was so impressed that she was taking notes about Vandwellers and how to contact them.  Said she would sure like to hook up with someone and travel with them for a month or so.  She is living SO green she hasn’t had a car in 15 years (I think that’s what she said).  We then walked four blocks to where she does Yoga and I did Yoga for the first time in my life.  It was difficult but seemed like it would be good physical therapy for my shoulder.  I left her there at the gym where she planned to work out… and walked back to my van to head out to see Conde.

Conde is taking sewing lessons and we planned to meet at the Quality Sewing Shop which was also having a BBQ that afternoon.  She gave me the address and after driving around that location for an hour and not finding the shop, I got on line and got the Shop’s phone number and called them.  Yes that’s the place… and they gave me the CORRECT address and directions – over a mile away from the address Conde gave me.  CONDE!!!!!   (If’n you don’t want to see me, just say so… don’t send me on some darned wild goose chase for a bad address.) All kidding aside we had a nice visit at the shop, ate too much, laughed and worried all the others around us with our cutting up.  I could not go to her house to visit because she has adopted three cats in the past year or so.  Yuk.  Wish I could have seen her husband and son as well.  More on Conde.

I pulled myself away from my friend and headed toward Wenatchee to visit son Chris and his family.  Laid over at Vandweller Suanne’s house in Fall City, WA.  Her hubby fixed breakfast for me the next morning and sent me on my way.  What a guy.  Thanks Suanne and John.  Breakfast was fresh eggs from John’s chickens and homemade sausage, toast and watermelon. Yum.

Arriving in Wenatchee on the hottest day of the year (7/8/2010), I found myself sitting in a Wal-Mart parking lot for six hours waiting for my son Chris to return from an afternoon with friends (I understand swimming was involved and boy would that have been nice). I saw some little boys across the street hosing each other with a garden hose and almost went over and ask them to get me wet. The temp in the van got up to 100 degrees F and so I headed for my son’s house so I could sit out on the porch… and wait for them to come home.  Finally, I got to see Will (age 3 months).  What a cutie.  He looks like his Uncle Rich (below Will on left, Rich on right). 

 

Left: William James Bailey; Right: Richard St. Clair Bailey being held by his great-grandma Olive Smith.  Olive is Will’s great-great-grandma.Will’s daddy, Chris.

Grandpa, Harold Bailey,held by his dad Bud Bailey.  Right: Will.  I dare anyone to say they don’t look alike.

Visited about an hour when the babies got put to bed.  The night air had finally cooled off enough that I could sleep and I had a parking spot where I could leave some doors open.  Next day (7/9/2010) I got to visit the babies some more.  Didn’t get a good photo of Jenelle, that I could publish.  Sorry Jenelle.  Send me one to add here.

A china doll for Zoey and a “rock egg.”  She was gonna go put it in the chicken coop laying boxes.  She is so cute.

A book from Grandma (she is still clutching the rock egg). Is he cute, or what?

Matching haircuts. Grandma and Will (he saying… “don’t touch me!”

Zoey is so sweet and tender to her little brother… and he watches her.

Spankie retires to live at Zoey’s.

 

Awh… nothing like a swimming pool on a hot July day!

My son, Chris, has given up being a commercial pilot (where he was away from the babies about four days a week), to become a farmer, he wanted to  be there for his growing children that much.  He has 3/4 acre planted and preps his veggies and takes them to the local Farmer’s Market. 

His presentation of his produce is very fine… and so people are drawn to him… and he sells out each time.  Some neighbors (substitute grandparents for my grandkids)… come over and help him clean and package his product.  They joke “We work for food!”  Chris gets up at 4:30am to go tend his crops, so he can return home before the heat of the day and “be daddy.”  I have never doubted that he would be successful at anything he ever decided to do.  He’s a gem (but I learned that he also doesn’t check my SPOT messages – so guess I can save myself $195 a year??!!).

 

Getting set up to package his produce.  Zoey helps.  The neighbors help.

I helped as well until my shoulder began hurting too much.  About 2pm when the babies went down for naps… I decided it was time to leave.  My son walked me to the van… and I was off again.  It was sad leaving them without getting all the photos I had hoped for and without having a good visit with my son. 

 

 

 They are just so darned cute.  Can’t wait to see them again.

Jenelle and Chris… you are great parents.  Thanks for giving me to beautiful grandchildren.  I’m looking forward to watching them grow.

I then headed to Spokane and I had learned that Conde’s son, Adam, was there working with a friend who vends at shows and events.  That didn’t work out and I didn’t get to see him… so managed to keep driving and got up into the ID mountains where it was cooler, before bedtime.  I was in a lot of pain… from cleaning veggies and picking Zoey up a couple times.  I needed to get some relief and to get cooled off.  This morning (Sat. 7/10/2010 – it was only 65 degrees inside the van). I got a fairly good night’s sleep, in spite of the traffic whizzing past me.

Why was my visit to Washington state bittersweet?  This is difficult to put words to.  I wanted to see everyone I saw, but I wanted more.  Gary, I wanted to do more with you… maybe kayak Crescent Lake… but I understand your role as landlord and besides… my surgeon wants me to give the shoulder more time.  Lauren, you are amazing… wish I hadn’t been so antsy to see my kids and grands.  I’ll get the compass mounted… and the belt loop will catch up with me one day.  Moreah, you are still a hoot.  Hope you had a good workout after I left.  Wish I could have seen some photos of Kayla.  I can’t believe our granddaughters are teens already.  We sure had fun together when they were smaller… the Balloon Man in your backyard, the girls signing tunes on Kayla’s front porch, the trip to the Zoo… so much fun.  Wish the girls could see each other again.  They both swore back then they would be singers.  Well, Tori is a singer… I forgot to tell you that.  Boy can she sing. And Conde… well, there’s nothing left to say about Conde… I’ve said it on the linked page.  I’m glad we had a nice long visit.  Tony… sorry I missed you.  And Adam… well, as always… I wish you all the luck in your future.  Sorry we couldn’t meet up in Spokane as I drove through there last night.  You should have made time to see me.  I was so looking forward to a visit with you.

Zoey’s pets.

  So… here’s why is was bittersweet… spending time with others requires a commitment of time to plan and carry out. And wanting more than others can give me… is bittersweet. It’s a continuation of my old habits… doing for others, being there for others, trying to keep others in my life.  It takes a lot of energy and each year it seems to take even more out of me.  I think this is the last year (or month) that I’ll being doing that.  Now I’m just going to travel… and if others happen to be on the same path at the same time we will meet.  In a couple years I might consider being closer to grandkids Zoey and Will on a more regular basis.  For now… I just need to be free.  I’ve never had that in the past… true freedom.  I feel tired and exhausted.  How can you want more (I think I could spend all day everyday with Zoey and Will) and want less at the same time.  I don’t know the answer… and don’t need to know it right now…. Just accept it for what it is and live NOW.

Heading across Eastern Washington, it was a Microsoft kinda day.

I think more of us should do that… live for ourselves in the NOW and stop giving up so much of ourselves for the benefit of others.  I know that goes against what most of us were brought up to do… but that’s what I think.  It’s just my opinion.